Beautiful Disaster
by Sara Kovac
Summary: Luby based on season 12 spoilers. Luka and Abby together again would be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster? Not good at summaries


_Author notes: First of all, I don't own any of the characters, but I think you already knew _

_Two more considerations: One, I'm not an English-speaker. So, excuse me if I've made a mistake (for example, translate literally idioms from my language), and e-mail me or use that wonderful new feature to send me a message if you don't understand, and I'll be glad to explain. Two, I'm not watching season 12, because they aren't passing it in Spain, maybe in January they will. I did read some spoilers, and that's what inspired me this story, and so did Kelly Clarkson's "Beautiful Disaster" and an ER music video which is in my profile, if you are interested on watching it._

_Nothing more to say now. Hope you enjoy my fanfic. Go Luby!_

**A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER**

It happened. Yes. Finally it happened.

And she fell, fell one more like she had fallen so many times with him. She just couldn't resist, simply it happened to her, she lost her ability to think when she found him looking in her eyes, with that so sweet half smile, when he kissed her and anything else mattered. But after that, it was not difficult to regret, to tell oneself that it was crazy to wake up by him, to see him face to face, asleep, breathing regularly. Actually it was a scene from another time, from another period in her life, which insisted to repeat itself and deny that time had passed.

Taking those disconcerting thoughts away from her head, Abby decided that she needed a coffee, it was the only way to make her ideas clearer. She got up from the bed carefully, not to wake him up, she dressed quickly and went out of the bedroom going to the kitchen.

Once she was there, she switched the coffee machine on and leaned on the surface of the kitchen bitting her nail inattentively. It all looked so strange. It was like going back some years in her life. Lots of things had happened in that flat, good and bad ones. She remembered when she broke Luka's fish tank, and Carter and her were almost arrested for house-breaking when trying to replace it, and she couldn't help smiling. Until that day, it had been almost her own house. During some time she had gone back there in the night knowing she wouldn't be alone, knowing she would find Luka there, though he was playing videogames like a twelve year old kid. Yes, she has lived lots of good moments in that apartment, the same as him. And maybe this night could be added to the list, although probably they were both betrayed by the loneliness and because of that they had finished in bed. Sometimes, it was easy to confuse company with something else, and surely it was what happened. Yes. Surely it was that.

Coffee was ready. Abby served a cup and took the first draught. Turkish coffee, typical of Luka. She was not used to that taste, so she went to the fridge for a little milk to mix with it and found out there wasnt any. Then, she decided a spoon of sugar would be enough, she opened the cupboard and found nothing. She closed with a resigned sigh. Bitter Turkish coffee. A good way to start the day.

"I know, I should go shopping one day" she heard behind her.

She turned. Luka was up. Seeing him like that, with messy hair and still half-closed eyes, reminded her again the same she had been thinking about since she was awake, and she forced herself to forget it. Last night's had been an isolated fact, nothing else.

"Doesn't mind, your coffee strengthens my character" she joked.

"Wow, I didn't know that facet of it" Luka followed her joke, and then he offered himself "I can dress and go to the shop around the corner, if you want to"

"No. Really" Abby served another cup and gave it to him.

Luka muttered "thanks" and drank a small sip. After that, he stared at her, sitting on the surface, her legs crossed, sipping calmly a coffee that she found hateful. She was different. Abby was different from any woman that had ever passed through his life. She could be a chaotic and difficult woman, but waking up beside her was always a nice surprise. He didn't know why, but it was.

"It's strange it haven't become an uncomfortable scene" he said.

Abby raised her sight from her cup.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing. I thought this morning we wouldn't dare to look each other's face. After all that happened, I mean."

"And didn't it happen?" she asked.

Luka didn't know what to answer. Perhaps she was uncomfortable, but she was pretending quite properly she wasn't.

"You still look at me" Abby said suddenly, not to let the situation become colder.

"What do you mean?"

"While we make love" she answered while she was remembering a conversation occurred years ago, the first time they spend the night together.

"You're still beautiful" he replied. He could remember perfectly that moment.

Abby blushed. She left her cup on the surface and jumped to the floor, trying to ignore what was happening. It was becoming an uncomfortable situation, even more after everything she had thougth about. It was senseless. It couldn't go on. It had been beautiful, but only eventual. There was no reason to prolong it.

All of a sudden she heard Luka laughing and looked at him, amazed.

"What's on?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just... I shouldn't have said that. I made you feel bad and, in addition, it is all so unreal... it's like I was dreaming. I couldn't imagine this was going to happen again."

He stopped laughing slowly, and added, to himself:

"Beautiful, but unreal."

"Do you really think that" Abby replied in surprise.

"I don't know. I suppose. It was nice while it lasted. And I don't believe it can last more, first because you don't want to, and second..."

"I don't want to?" she stopped him.

Luka remained silent after that comment. He didn't know how to interpret it. Probably she was feeling confused, and in one hand she didn't want it to end, but in the other hand she was seeing a huge mistake, some weakness due to the fear of being alone, maybe a nostalgic attack . At least it was how he was feeling.

"Do you want then?" he asked.

Abby smiled nervously. She pulled back her hair from her face and doubted before answering.

"I don't know if being together would be something beautiful or just..."

"Or just a beautiful disaster" Luka finished her sentence, and decided to close the conversation. "Maybe it is. Forget what I've said. I'll dress and I'll go for some milk, I don't think you can finish that coffee without a bit of help".

He smiled reassuringly while, inside, he thought than perhaps he was making an even bigger mistake. But it was better to let time pass before taking a wrong step.

He turned to get out of the kitchen when he heard Abby's voice behind him.

"I'll go" she offered.

"Really, you don't need to" he hurried to dissuade her.

"I'll go and there's nothing more to say" she ran past him, but in a second she stopped and looked at him again. "And by the way, thanks".

He looked her back without understanding.

"Not to press me" she went to him and hug him slightly, only for a moment.

Then, she moved away from him with a smile. She tidied her hair up in front of the mirror, under Luka's sight, and she went out to fetch the milk.

_And if I could hold on through the tears and laughter,_

_would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?_

_

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Any reviews, comments, considerations... I'd like to know if you liked it ot not, and your advice to improve my writing. Thanks!_


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